By Jo

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who spends more time talking about who they could’ve been than who they’re trying to become?

I recently thought about a scenario like this involving two people having a conversation about life, missed opportunities, and the paths they thought they would take. One person had spent years thinking about what their life could’ve looked like if things had gone differently. The other understood that life doesn’t always go according to plan, but you still have to figure out what to do with the cards you’re dealt.

The conversation eventually turned to football.

“I could’ve made it to the NFL,” Person B explained. “If my family situation had been different, if I’d gone to a better school, if I’d had the same opportunities as everybody else, things would’ve turned out differently.”

Person A listened before responding.

“I understand what you’re saying, but we’re talking about something that happened almost 20 years ago. At some point, you have to ask yourself what you’ve done since then.”

“You just don’t understand what I could’ve been,” Person B replied.

And that was the problem. Person B was so focused on the opportunities they believed they had lost that they couldn't see the opportunities that might still exist.

What made the conversation interesting was that Person A had been the better athlete. They could’ve pursued that same dream, too, but they chose a different direction. They took the discipline, knowledge, and skills they had developed and applied them elsewhere. One path didn't work out—or wasn't pursued—and life continued.

That got Person A thinking about how often we do this to ourselves. We become so attached to an old version of our future that we struggle to recognize the possibilities in our present.

Don't get me wrong. Your circumstances matter. Family, finances, education, and access to opportunities can absolutely influence where you end up. Not everybody starts from the same position, and not every door opens just because you knock.

But there's a difference between acknowledging what held you back and allowing it to hold you back forever.

Everybody wants to be a king remembered in time. We want our names to mean something. We want to leave a mark and be recognized for what we accomplished.

But you can't become a legend by spending your life explaining who you could've been.

Your legacy is being written right now. It's in the decisions you make, the work you put in, and the opportunities you're still willing to pursue.

Time will tell how history remembers you.

Until then, stop worshipping the throne you never sat on and start building something with the life you still have.

A king is remembered for what he did, not just what he could've been.

Wouldn’t it be nice if you knew the number of times you had to fail before you would succeed?

The relationship we have with failure is a complex one. With the right mindset, failure is simply a stepping stone on the road to a brighter future. On the other side, it can cause some very significant and life-changing setbacks.

Of course you can’t fail or win if you never try, so it’s important to develop a healthy relationship with failure. Realistically, not everyone has the same runway to work with.

Your runway is how much time you have to either succeed or fail. A plane taking flight is the easiest way to visualize this. The plane has a set amount of clear path until it either lifts off or never makes it off the ground. The same is true with the goals we set and the risks we take.

You only have so much runway, and everyone’s situation is different. I remember when I was without a job for a few months. I had a set period of time where I could selectively search for a new position. But once a few months had gone by, funds ran low and I had to take a job that paid a lot less—one I didn’t want or like—in a completely unrelated field.

Running out of runway can look like different things: money, motivation, resources, or even time itself. This is where failure comes in. Not everything you attempt will be an instant success. Sometimes failure is simply part of the process, and you have to learn to embrace it.

If you only have limited time to pursue a goal, then it’s important to learn how to fail quickly, learn, iterate, and jump right back in.

Don’t be afraid to embrace and accept failure as part of your journey. Sometimes you are one failure away from discovering success.