Who You Are vs Who You Think You Should Be

Today’s Topics

• If You Could Be Someone Else… Would You?❓

• Mindset Olympics 🥇

  5 Mins Read Time

If You Could Be Someone Else… Would You?❓
By Jo

If you had the chance to be exactly like someone else—who would it be?

It’s an interesting question.
And if we’re being honest, most people have an answer.

There’s always someone who seems to have it figured out. The lifestyle. The skill set. The recognition. The discipline. The results. From the outside looking in, it can feel like they’re operating on a different level.

And naturally, that can lead to comparison.

But that’s where you have to be careful.

The Part You Don’t See

When you compare yourself to someone else, you’re usually comparing your full reality to their highlight reel.

You don’t see:

What they sacrificed
What they struggled through
What they had to give up to get where they are

You also don’t always know what they were born into.

Some people inherit advantages—resources, environments, connections, even natural abilities—that you may not have had access to. Others built everything from scratch but paid a price you might not be willing to pay.

And that’s the part people overlook.

It’s easy to admire the outcome.
It’s harder to understand the cost.

Admiration vs. Comparison

Now, admiration isn’t the problem.

In fact, admiration can be healthy.

Seeing someone operate at a high level can inspire you. It can show you what’s possible. It can expand your perspective beyond what you thought you were capable of.

But comparison? That’s where things start to shift.

Because comparison turns inspiration into pressure.

It makes you question your timeline.
Your pace.
Your worth.

And over time, if you’re not careful, it can slowly disconnect you from your own path.

A Better Approach

Instead of comparing, ask questions.

If you see someone doing something exactly how you want to do it—what’s stopping you from having a conversation?

Ask them:

How did you get here?
What did it take?
What would you do differently?

You’d be surprised how much insight people are willing to share.

Because the truth is, their success could be a combination of things:

Talent
Skill
Experience
Opportunity
Timing

It’s rarely just one thing.

And understanding that helps you ground yourself.

Discovering Your Own Gifts

The goal was never to become someone else.

The goal is to become the best version of yourself.

You have your own set of gifts—whether you’ve fully discovered them yet or not. And once you start tapping into those, something shifts.

Your confidence builds.
Your direction becomes clearer.
Your character develops.

And you stop chasing someone else’s life…
because you’re too focused on building your own.

Mindset Olympics 🥇

By Marcus

Have you ever come across someone who just kind of fizzled out on life? They had a ton of potential and energy, but through life experiences, they seem to have given up on trying.

I’ve seen people be very critical of folks like this with the classic statements: “You just have to try harder,” or “Back in my day,” or something along the lines of calling people weak for having a hard time in life. There’s a lot of nuance missed by these overgeneralizations.

The thing about you or me or any of us as individuals is that each of us is different. Those differences—hate them or love them—are what give us our strengths and weaknesses that we manage throughout our lives.

Wear & Tear

Mindset is kind of like maintenance on a car. Check it routinely, manage the upkeep, and you have fewer issues. When you delay, problems can pile up, parts become obsolete or need replacing, and if neglected, your car can transform from a useful tool into a very costly repair.

It’s similar with our mindset: if we stay on top of it, it’s manageable. But neglect can have us spiraling, and before we know it, repairing the underlying issue may feel like a total waste of time.

How you process information and see the world changes as you get older. Optimism can be replaced by cynicism, and a series of unfortunate events can put you in such a deficit that recovery seems insurmountable.

Build New Frameworks

One thing I like to do when I’m hitting mental roadblocks is read. Sometimes anything will do, but there are times when I’ll specifically find a book focused around the problem I’m facing. Typically when I do this, one of four things happens:

• I gain a different perspective on the existing problem that challenges me to reflect.

• I disagree and it solidifies my current train of thought.

• I build a completely new framework for how I visualize the challenge.

• I get some unexpected new ideas to explore in the future.

Creative Thinking

There are times when it’s challenging to keep fighting for a solution—to try your best and still fail. I’ve never personally met anyone who wanted to quit, but I’ve met many people for whom life became too burdensome to continue trying.

Reading is one of the ways I combat negativity and keep the spark alive. For you it could be getting out in nature, music, isolation, attending a conference or a local meetup, a vacation or staycation—anything that keeps you in the game.

Try to find creative ways to stay engaged with your long-term goals and life’s challenges. Remember that a lot of this is You vs. You, so it doesn’t really matter what other people think of the tricks you use to stay motivated.

Mindset is a valuable part of who you are. It needs maintenance and attention to thrive.