Who are you really seeking validation from?

Think about applying for a job today. Before a human being ever reads your résumé, there's a good chance a piece of software screens it first. That software can scan keywords, titles, and experience—but it can't measure your character. It can't measure your work ethic, your integrity, your coachability, or the way you solve problems when things fall apart.

Those are things only people can discover.

And yet, many of us allow a rejection from a system—or from one person's opinion—to determine our value.

Why?

The same résumé rejected by one company may be exactly what another company has been searching for. One organization closes the door. Another opens it wide. Did your value change overnight?

Of course not.

The opportunity did.

The same applies to friendships, business relationships, and life in general. It usually takes one or two genuine conversations to know whether someone has the potential to be a great addition to your life. Sometimes people surprise you. Sometimes they completely exceed your expectations.

So why don't we leave room for people to prove us wrong?

As you gain more life experience, seeking validation becomes less important. You realize someone will always have an opinion. They'll criticize you when you have hair. They'll joke when you're bald. They'll find something either way.

That's life.

Your worth was never determined by another person's approval. It was determined by what you consistently bring to the table.

Stop chasing validation.

Instead, pursue opportunities that recognize your value—and become the kind of person who gives others the opportunity to exceed expectations, too.

Sometimes what meets the eye is only the beginning.

Sometimes life can really feel like it’s beating you up. Simple problems compound, stress adds up, and before you know it, you’re stuck in that perpetual state of just going through the motions day to day.

What some people don’t understand is that none of us know how long our own journey toward success or happiness will take. It would feel very different if you knew the struggle would last a few months, a year, or a few years. Instead, we’re operating in the unknown, and life has a way of wearing us down without any input on our part. This article is for those who want to make a comeback but need a little help finding the path again.

Spend enough time trying without visible progress and it becomes difficult to keep showing up every day.

If you aren’t careful, you look up one day and realize you’ve started doing the following just to maintain:

It’s perfectly normal to feel this way. None of us are superhuman, and the one thing people often miss when they say “just persevere” is that you never know how long your personal marathon will last. The closest thing we get to a pause button is filling our days with distractions from the real challenges.

Overcoming the fog of life isn’t an easy fix. Sometimes the best move is to clear a little space rather than attempt a full overhaul. Instead of attacking everything at once, you conserve your limited energy so you can gain some breathing room and start the process.

Here are a few small but useful steps to begin getting things back on track:

The process of acceptance, ownership, and incrementally building a new reality is time- and energy-consuming. It’s like paying down bad debt: hardest at the beginning, but it gets easier once you start seeing progress. The first step is simply committing to the change.

Next week, we’ll look at how you can build on this foundation and begin averaging up in the simplest of ways.

When the fog of life is thick, even the smallest spark can light the way.